“Are you married?” “Do you plan to have children?” “Where are you really from?” Questions like these still come up in interviews, sometimes from carelessness and sometimes not. Whether a question is actually unlawful depends on the country, the employer and how the answer is used, but you have the same three options everywhere: answer it, answer the concern behind it, or decline politely.
The questions and answers below cover what counts as inappropriate, how to respond in the room and what you can do afterwards. Rules are summarised as of November 2026 for three jurisdictions where many of our readers apply: the United States, the United Kingdom and the UAE. This is general information, not legal advice; for your own situation, contact the official authority named in each section.
Understanding the question
What makes an interview question illegal or inappropriate?
In most countries the problem is not the question itself but its link to a protected characteristic, such as sex, religion, age, disability or national origin, and the risk that the answer is used to reject you. A question can be lawful but still inappropriate: irrelevant, intrusive or asked of only some candidates.
The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) puts the principle simply: pre-employment questions should be limited to what is essential for deciding whether a person is qualified for the job, and information about race, sex, national origin, age and religion is irrelevant to that decision. It adds that such questions may be used as evidence of an employer’s intent to discriminate unless they can be justified by some business purpose.
Which questions commonly cross the line?
| Topic | Examples | The concern an employer might legitimately have |
|---|---|---|
| Marriage and family | “Are you married?” “Do you have children?” “Who looks after your kids?” | Availability for the hours, shifts or travel |
| Pregnancy | “Are you pregnant?” “Are you planning a family?” | Generally none: US (EEOC) and UK (GOV.UK) guidance both treat it as a question to avoid |
| Age | “How old are you?” “When did you graduate from school?” | A legal minimum age for certain tasks |
| Health and disability | “Do you have any medical conditions?” “How many sick days did you take last year?” | Whether you can carry out essential tasks, and whether you need adjustments for the interview |
| Religion | “Which church/mosque/temple do you go to?” “Do you fast?” | Availability on particular days |
| National origin | “Where are your parents from?” “Is that your real name?” | Right to work and visa processing |
The right-hand column matters: it is usually the part you can answer without disclosing anything you would rather keep private.
What the rules say in three jurisdictions
United States
The EEOC says employers are explicitly prohibited from making pre-offer inquiries about disability. On family, it says questions about marital status and the number and ages of children are frequently used to discriminate against women and may violate Title VII if used to deny or limit employment opportunities. It is clearly discriminatory to ask these questions only of women and not of men, and even if both are asked they may be seen as evidence of intent to discriminate. The EEOC lists among inquiries that may be regarded as such evidence: whether the applicant is pregnant, marital status or plans to marry, number and ages of children or future childbearing plans, childcare arrangements, the employment status of a spouse and a spouse’s name. Its guidance on prohibited practices also says employers should not ask for a photograph of an applicant; one may be obtained after an offer has been made and accepted. Family questions can likewise be asked after an offer is accepted where needed for insurance or similar legitimate business purposes.
Some states and cities add their own rules, so check your state’s fair employment agency as well.
United Kingdom
GOV.UK guidance tells employers they must not ask candidates about protected characteristics, or whether they are married, single or in a civil partnership, or whether they have or plan to have children. Employers can ask about health or disability only in limited cases, including where there are necessary job requirements that cannot be met with reasonable adjustments, or to find out whether someone needs help to take part in a selection test or interview. An application form should ask for date of birth only where the person must be a certain age to do the job, such as selling alcohol; otherwise it can go on a separate equality monitoring form. Acas, the UK’s workplace advice service, lists job applicants among the people the Equality Act 2010 protects against discrimination.
United Arab Emirates
Article 4 of Federal Decree-Law No. 33 of 2021 on the Regulation of Labour Relations prohibits discrimination on the basis of race, colour, sex, religion, nationality, social origin or disability that would weaken equal opportunity or prejudice equality in obtaining or continuing a job and enjoying its rights, and bars employers from discriminating between workers doing the same work. Age and marital status are not among the grounds listed. The same article states that measures to increase the participation of UAE citizens in the labour market are not discrimination, and requires equal pay for women and men for the same work or work of equal value.
In practice, interviews in the Gulf may include questions about nationality, marital status and dependants that would be unusual in the UK or US, because they feed into visa sponsorship, family residence permits and benefits such as housing or school allowances. Being asked is not in itself evidence of discrimination, but you can still choose how much to share and when. In the UAE, the Ministry of Human Resources and Emiratisation (MoHRE) can be reached on 600590000, and its labour claims line is 80084.
Responding in the interview
What are my options when I’m asked something inappropriate?
- Answer directly. If the information is harmless to you and you want to keep the conversation moving, you can simply answer. That is your choice, not an obligation.
- Answer the concern behind the question. This is usually the most effective option. You address what the employer needs to know without disclosing the personal detail.
- Decline politely. Say you prefer to keep the conversation on the job, and offer something relevant instead.
- Ask how it relates to the role. A neutral “Can I ask how that relates to the job?” often prompts the interviewer to rephrase, or to realise the question was out of line.
What does “answering the concern” sound like?
These are illustrative wordings. Adapt them to your own voice.
- “Do you have children?” “The shift pattern and the two trips a month in the advert work for me. Is there another part of the schedule you’d like me to talk through?”
- “How old are you?” “I’m over the minimum age for the role, if that’s what you need to confirm. I’m happy to talk about the experience I’d bring.”
- “Do you have any health problems?” “I’m able to carry out the duties described. If you’d like, I can talk about how I’ve handled the physical side of my current job.”
- “Where are you from originally?” “If it’s about eligibility, I have the right to work here [or: I’d need a work visa, which I understand you sponsor]. Is there anything else you need for that?”
- “Do you pray at work?” “I’m available for the working hours and days in the advert.”
Keep your tone level. A calm, brief redirect protects your privacy without giving the interviewer a reason to see you as difficult.
Should I point out that the question is illegal?
You can, but it rarely helps in the moment. Many inappropriate questions come from untrained interviewers making small talk, and a redirect usually ends the matter. If the questioning continues after you have redirected, it is reasonable to say, politely, that you would rather focus on your qualifications. Write down the exact wording later.
What if the question is about my CV gap, and the honest answer is personal?
You can explain a gap at a level of detail you choose: “I took time out for family reasons, and I’ve been keeping up to date through [course].” You do not need to name a condition, a pregnancy or a family member’s circumstances.
What about questions on application forms or in online tests?
The same options apply, but you have more time to think. Look for an equality monitoring form: in the UK, GOV.UK says date of birth (unless the job has a minimum age) belongs on a separate equality monitoring form, which the people selecting or interviewing candidates should not see. If a mandatory field asks for something you consider inappropriate, you can contact the recruiter before submitting.
After the interview
What should I do if I think I was discriminated against?
- Write down what was asked, by whom, when and how you answered, as soon as you can.
- Keep the job advert, emails and any rejection message.
- Get advice from the relevant authority before deciding what to do.
- US: The EEOC accepts charges through its online Public Portal, by appointment at its offices or by mail, and its phone line, 1-800-669-4000, can help you start. It does not take charges over the phone, but staff can help you start the process. Charges generally have to be filed within 180 calendar days, extended to 300 calendar days where a state or local agency enforces a law covering the same discrimination; age claims follow slightly different rules. Federal job applicants have a different process.
- UK: Acas runs a helpline for advice on discrimination, and the Equality Advisory and Support Service also gives guidance. Seek advice promptly, because legal claims can be subject to deadlines.
- UAE: Contact MoHRE on 600590000 or the labour claims line on 80084.
Does an inappropriate question mean I shouldn’t take the job?
Not automatically. One clumsy question from a line manager can be a training problem rather than the company’s culture. But how the interviewer reacts to your redirect is useful information. If they press, joke about it or make assumptions, consider what working for them would be like, and ask other employees or check public reviews before accepting an offer.
Can I raise it with the company?
Yes. A short, factual note to HR or the recruiter, describing the question and asking how the company handles interview training, is reasonable and often welcomed by larger employers. Keep a copy.
Preparing in advance
Decide before the interview what you are willing to share about family, health, religion and background, especially for international applications where visa and benefits questions are common. Prepare one redirect sentence for each topic. Check that your CV does not volunteer information you would rather not discuss: date of birth, marital status, a photo or nationality are expected in some countries and not in others. The international resume builder and the resume questions hub cover what to include by country.
Sources
- Prohibited Employment Policies/Practices, U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission
- Pre-Employment Inquiries and Marital Status or Number of Children, U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission
- How to File a Charge of Employment Discrimination, U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission
- Employers: preventing discrimination – Recruitment, GOV.UK
- Discrimination and the law, Acas
- Federal Decree by Law No. (33) of 2021 Concerning Regulating Labour Relations, UAE Legislation (official portal)